"Dingo" 8/18/2062 (Shadowrun)
I never smile anymore. That’s how you know that you will probably never be happy in the situation you’re in. You never smile anymore. Everyone else may laugh and have a good time, but not me. I can’t. Not here. Of course, everyone will say that I’m just being reclusive, being self-destructive… that I have no more goals. The latter may be true, but that’s only because they’ve been destroyed. I tried to remember the last time I smiled as I continued to pack my bags. I folded my clothes as carefully as I could, trying to get everything into one suitcase. It’s all my fault, apparently. Who’s to say who’s fault it is. All I know is I don’t belong here, not with these people. These people who despise my every movement. My every word. My every thought. I aggressively threw the model car kit given to me by her new danna. Kumori. Not even the right fucking color. I didn’t bother picking it back up, just moved on to packing the rest of my things.
I never understood completely why I never fit in here. Maybe it’s because I’m too different, or maybe it’s just because I’m gaijin. That’d be rather hypocritical on their part, however, seeing as Blue is also gaijin. Fuck that cocksucker. Thinks he’s top shit just because he sleeps with every female he comes across. Thinks he’s numero uno businessman just because he can bullshit his way through any conversation. I unlocked the breach to my Widowmaker, checking to see if shells were loaded. I then snapped it shut again, sliding it into my behind the back holster. I hefted up my suitcase, opening the entryway into the garage. Predator tells me I should start worrying about my self, more than others. Better late than never I guess, I’m getting the fuck away from these people. I unlocked my van and threw my suitcase in the back.
“Bill, looks like yer in charge o’ this place until they find some ‘un tah replace meh.” I murmured to my assistant.
“Are you sure this is what you wanna do?” He responded to me quietly.
“Yeh. It’s all Ah can do, Bill. These people dun want meh here. They never did. Only reason they tolerated meh was ‘cause o’ Butterfly. Ah ah’ready rapped ‘nuff ‘bout this tah you.”
“I know… but, if it helps, it’s never gonna be the same in here without you around.” He forced a small smile.
I tried to return one to him, but at that point, I think I forgot how. Instead, I just extended my hand to him and shook it. “See ya ‘round, Bill.” I rasped to him as I climbed into my van, starting it up.
I stared at the road ahead of me as I barreled back to Redmond, the only place I felt sane. No time for me. Work, work, work. If wanting to see your significant other at least once a month is being selfish, then consider me a selfish prick. I pressed my foot against the gas pedal, accelerating into the broken streets. I won’t ever have to deal with that shit again, at least. I turned the wheel into the parking lot of the recently constructed apartment complex. I hope.
